Anonym
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erstellt am: 12.5.2003 um 17:23 Uhr: |
Let's face it. There are no rational arguments. No healthy, rational thinking, clearwitted human being makes a well-balanced decision based on valid arguments to buy a 700cc lawnmower with fancy bodypanelling as a roadgoing vehicle. You don't look at an oversized rollerskate with an engine and think; "now there is a save automobile for my leisurely strolls in this overpopulated western country, where new models of the average car grow several inches each year". This is probably how the idea was born in the first place. The driver of a current model SUV drove right over a smart city-coupe and looks into the rear-view mirror because he/she felt a slight bump in the road, and thinks:"He, a smart-roadster!"
And don't think that a 1:2 scale Lego model that Smart thinks is big enough to sell, comes cheap. Like all Lego, it's quite expensive. It doesn't include useful options such as air-conditioning, power-steering, an onboard computer, light-weight aluminum wheels and sport-steer, side-airbags, mirror heating and servo adjustment, and the like, so by the time you have selected all relevant options you end up paying the price of a lotus elise. Not that you want one of those as it is a half bread Opel. But still.
So when you finally give in to your mysterious and graving desire to make a test-drive in the little critter that looks like a smart city-coupe with faulty ESP after the elk-test, you know that there is no way back after the very first turn of the key and the engine comes to live with a gentle, but all encompassing, all penetrating grunt, tickling your eardrums, tickling your skin's goosebumps, tickling you to heaven. You make the obligatory though useless test-drive. It's useless because of the lack of rational arguments for which a test-drive is not going to make any difference. But it is also useless because you're already sold. If the devil came down right there and then he'd be happily taking another sole.
Then comes the salesperson, an occupation in which they perfect the ability to spoil your fun. You ask: "How much and when?", and after answering an obscene amount of money he says it will take at least 4 month. Come again? 4 MONTH! (And as it appears, the more money you spend, the longer you have to wait. Like i said: no rational arguments at all).
In the meantime (pun intended) my life has come to a grinding halt. How am i going to survive 4 month if not more? I can't stop thinking about it. I think about it more than i think about sex, and that should sufficiently indicate the severe nature of this virus. I would dare say it is more dangerous than SARS and worse than AIDS. This way the future of humanity is at stake. Think about it: if men stopped thinking about the only thing they contribute to the incarnation of a next generation!? We will end up with a birth deficit in 2004-2005 because Chrysler couldn't live up to its moral obligation if you will to deliver its automobile in a timely fashion.
So here is my question to you my fellow warriors in time distortion. I require medicine quickly, in the form of tips. We need to gather as many tips as possible, for future buyers as well as humanity in general, to survive 4 month or more. As a token of my appreciations for your thoughts and attention i have included three tips myself. Read them to your advantage and please post any additional tips you may have come across used successfully or otherwise.
Tip 1:
Buy a round-the-world ticket for the Concorde, crash right into the deepest jungle of Peru, miraculously survive the crash, and then take about 4 month to find your way back to civilization by foot.
Obviously this is not a good option as your fiancee may find out what you were really talking about when, after 4 month, the interviewer asks you: "What kept you alive for 4 month in the torment of the jungle?" and you answer: "A picture in my minds eye of my dearest, sweetest, future companion!"
Tip 2:
Buy a used BMW Z3, EUR 20K mint condition, availability: immediate.
Not an option either as i am not a proponent of extra-marital affairs, and in this case, contrary to most other cases, the mere thought of it is an objectional act already. God forbid that in the end you like the BMW better than your new melted smart city-coupe which has been standing in the sun too long. Besides, if i wanted a Ferrari, i wouldn't be buying a Fred Flinstone coupe that is easily overtaken by my 5 year old nephew on his tricycle.
Tip 3:
Find as many short sentenced descriptions of the new smart roadster that totally disrespect its eminent, inherent, all consuming beauty.
Needless to say i have been doing just that. Perhaps a new thread.
With all due regards,
-O
SR/remix/silver/leather/allin |
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